What's A Poor Guy To Do?

Today there is a newspaper report of a fifty something year old man arrested for lewd behavior when passengers on a tour bus looked down to see him sitting in his truck masturbating and reported it to the state troopers.  First of all, poor guy, he pulled to the side of the road, responsible driving, right?  Lowered his seat, totally proper and inconspicuous and who would imagine that a bunch of tourists on a bus who should have been looking at the landscape, for god's sake, that's why they chartered the damn thing, peer down into his truck.  It reminded me of a conversation I once had at a cocktail party in Los Angeles with a charming handsome young lawyer in which I brought up the eternally to me fascinating observation of an urban environment where people think nothing of driving such vast distances, to go to a party (at which we were, my hosts in LA having driven for at least forty five minutes over freeways to bring us to this gathering), and he waxed philosophical about the Los Angeles driving and I sputtered on mounting real indignation at such things as the daily traffic jams on the Santa Ana Freeway and he replied that yes, it was true, and it was his route home, and yes, he actually liked the daily stoppage.  This was the years before cellphones, so there was still a chance to have a solitary existence, and so he could revel in his being alone, no boss to talk to him, to wife to talk to him, to kids to get on his nerves, the traffic slowed to a call, he has his favorite cds on and good music coming out the speaker. He smoked some dope, calmed down, and usually masturbated, all in the peace and quiet of his journey home.  Way to go, bro!