A Little Learning Is Really Basic

Last night our house guest who had flown in from NYC took us out to dinner and then suggested we watch a television standup comedy performance by a quite pregnant Asian-American at which I laughed and laughed heartily, as did my husband, while I at the same time registered shock at some of the language used and ideas explored by the performer.  I was equally shocked at how her very appreciative audience of men and women in their twenties I should say into maybe their forties--so hard to judge when you are more than fifty years older!--seemed to be relaxed and thoroughly enjoying her humor and the subjects she chose to bring up in her routine.  As a male who tried out homosexual experience from age fourteen on I deeply regret that I did not know what I was trying to do, had no experience, no role models, no teachers.  I realize now how tentative and inadequate were my moves to achieve sexual satisfaction from another man's body because we were both of us often frightened, sometimes one of the other repulsed, not sure this was "right."  There were no manuals, there was no internet to offer pornography which along with giving viewers a masturbatory stimulus is the great teacher of sexual practices to gays and straights alike.  If, just if, if all those brutalized ignorant women in this world had access to internet along with their husbands and learned that the marital bed did not have to be a clumsy rape scene.  One of the very first times I was penetrated anally the youngster doing it was a sixteen year old classmate who knew no more about it than I although we both understood the virtue and necessity of Vaseline.  He was a straight youth, horny as teenage males can be, who followed me up the ladder to the loft to the small barn at the back of our family property, and without hesitation disrobed alongside me, and took possession of me.  But he was gentle in proceeding,  and I was comfortable, although of course he knew nothing nor did I about the sweet spot of the prostate organ which can give a male so much pleasure in anal stimulation or intercourse.  The comedy performer dwelt on this at length in her show and as the camera again and again panned the audience of middle class educated ordinary men and women out on dates or perhaps husbands and wives who'd left the kids with the baby sitter that night all of them laughing and clearly accepting what they were seeing, I thought of all those years of being fucked in the ass, and sometimes it was good and sometimes not but we were too ignorant to make a satisfactory knowledgeable performance of it.  So, some things do get better!